jesus!

it was so bad to feel so lonely
so disaspointng..i feel like i know one thing for sure.
i can only count on myself.
and i know who i can and cannot count on
i hate it when people i love let me down in a big way
when yo want to help someone butcan't.
what a fucking hot mess.

i don't know what i'd do without tc right now.
just knowing there is a sane person who understands where i am coming from means the world.
blessed be.

time

time..never enough. frustrated at work. loving it, but i like to do a great job, not a half-ass one!
want to be playing music more.
today anyway.
feeling good now that hormones have leveled out.
saw ex bf yesterday. i am a glutton for punishment, but wanted to see if i could see him and not get upset.
amazing how INTIMATE you can be with someone and suddenly its just gone.
and how you put expetations on folks.
i feel that expectations make you miserable. really.

here goes...

so starting off my week.. i love teaching art. i love playing music. i am so blessed to be surrounded by deep friendships with amazing loving creative understanding people. all of whom appreciate great music. and i mean great live music. we create a web of beautiful energy together that perpetuates love and peace through music and creativity. it is healing. to us. to everyone we come in contact with.

of course there is a little family drama for those who choose to go there. but we are learning to rise above it.

i feel right now in my life that i am finally learning TEMPERANCE. how to use all of my elements together for the best good. efficiency has been up for me. mainly i believe because we don't have much time. we need to be READY for the shifts. they are more evident every day. the synchronicities are overwhelming on some days. everything that needs to happen IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW. be careful of your words because THEY HAVE POWER.