;-P exhausted

work has me exhausted.

funny, I realize about myself, I don't want praise so much as acknowledgement of hard work.
boss apologized to me. sure it helps, but goddammit don't be rude and unappreciative in the first place! Must be nice to be the Princess of the school.

BUT trying to let it go. Want to go out tonight, but house is a mess. too much to do.
no response to painting class. need to go sell some stuff.

today right on track

Capricorn Horoscopes

(Dec 22 - Jan 19)

Yesterday | Today | Tomorrow

Thursday, Feb 4th, 2010 -- The emphasis in your life is shifting, adding importance to your interactions with associates at work and friends at play. This is a phase when you can reestablish your relationships in a way that makes more sense, but this isn't about any one individual. Instead, take time to contemplate your place within the larger network. Find a role that balances your own personal needs with those of your social and professional groups.

here is my horoscope for today..shifting indeed. seems like since the haiti earthquake things have been thrown up into the air and have turned and are configured into different kinds of relationships. all relationships have shifted, and i really feel like things are now on the right track. though its difficult maintaining a high vibration, I feel like I have new tools that really help me keep it together better.

with all the shifs regarding my household..i finally feel clear, but it will be hard to keep up work after work to make enough money to make rent. but yesterday I was surprised by a nice little surprise $ which helps a lot.

feeling like i'm wanting to develop my skills as a singer-songwriter and am happy to have mentors to lean on. playing with new people. makes me see my songs in a whole new light receiving new appreciation. ...its almost like i needed the band to get the gumption up to perform, and now, i'm ready to be on my own..although i do need a guitar accompanient...

jesus!

it was so bad to feel so lonely
so disaspointng..i feel like i know one thing for sure.
i can only count on myself.
and i know who i can and cannot count on
i hate it when people i love let me down in a big way
when yo want to help someone butcan't.
what a fucking hot mess.

i don't know what i'd do without tc right now.
just knowing there is a sane person who understands where i am coming from means the world.
blessed be.

time

time..never enough. frustrated at work. loving it, but i like to do a great job, not a half-ass one!
want to be playing music more.
today anyway.
feeling good now that hormones have leveled out.
saw ex bf yesterday. i am a glutton for punishment, but wanted to see if i could see him and not get upset.
amazing how INTIMATE you can be with someone and suddenly its just gone.
and how you put expetations on folks.
i feel that expectations make you miserable. really.

here goes...

so starting off my week.. i love teaching art. i love playing music. i am so blessed to be surrounded by deep friendships with amazing loving creative understanding people. all of whom appreciate great music. and i mean great live music. we create a web of beautiful energy together that perpetuates love and peace through music and creativity. it is healing. to us. to everyone we come in contact with.

of course there is a little family drama for those who choose to go there. but we are learning to rise above it.

i feel right now in my life that i am finally learning TEMPERANCE. how to use all of my elements together for the best good. efficiency has been up for me. mainly i believe because we don't have much time. we need to be READY for the shifts. they are more evident every day. the synchronicities are overwhelming on some days. everything that needs to happen IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW. be careful of your words because THEY HAVE POWER.